Till

Till...

I watched the movie, Till, last night and it hurt my heart. I felt that slow burn in my gut that I used to get as a kid watching injustice play out. I never understood it as a kid, and I still don’t. How hard can it be to try to be our best selves? 

Perhaps, in part, that burning desire for people to do better and be better inspired my mission to reframe how we define success, power, conflict and negotiation. The Art of Feminine Negotiation™, at its core, is about showing up differently – with empathy, compassion, trust, and collaboration over competition. 

I remember my young heart hurting as a kid when I first learned of our forefathers bringing smallpox-laden blankets to the First Nations people who had welcomed them. How they brought disease under the guise of a gift. It made me despair about our humanity (or lack of it).

Similarly, I remember my shock and outrage watching Roots, which brought the abstract horrors of slavery to life. Or the assassination of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X. Or the failure to take action in the face of genocide in Rwanda. 

If you don’t know the movie, Till, it’s based on the true story of Emmet Louis Till, a 14-year-old black boy from Chicago who went to Missouri to visit his cousins in 1955. For the sin of whistling at a white woman at the corner store he was dragged from his bed in the middle of the night, beaten to death, and his body dumped, like garbage, in the river. 

Incredibly, the men who did it, were found ‘Not Guilty’. In fact, 4 years later they admitted they did it – gave an interview in a magazine about it – lived their lives unscathed.  

Our justice system failed … again. Our humanity failed. 

The fact that we still have these problems today is unacceptable – in the literal sense of the word. How is it possible that we still haven’t come to appreciate and celebrate our shared humanity?  

We have much to be embarrassed about. When I say that, it’s not about judging or shaming, but rather, an invitation to do better.  

As a woman, I’ve certainly been subject to discrimination. Growing up in a low rental, low-income apartment complex, I’ve been subject to discrimination based on class. I’ve seen discrimination in our home as we’ve dealt with serious mental health issues in our family. 

Yet, I can’t purport to know what it’s like to live as a black person in this world. I’ll never truly know what it feels like to be in their skin. I can’t pretend to speak from their perspective. 

But I can hope for change. I can be an ally. I can use my voice.  

It’s why I’m so passionate about the Art of Feminine Negotiation. It’s not just about getting more in the business world. It goes way beyond that. It’s calling for a shift, away from old models that don’t serve us. That don’t serve our humanity.  

It’s about moving away from power over others to power with. About recognizing that real control requires letting go. It’s about redefining ‘success’ and ‘conflict’ and bringing new models to the table. It’s about tapping into our core humanity to be the best version of ourselves. 

What if we let go of ego and released our attachment (to our way of life, of doing things, assumptions that our way is ‘the’ way)? What if we honestly explored our fears, recognizing how much wasted conflict and devastation has occurred in the world, throughout time, fighting who and what we don’t know, trying to control (or annihilate) people or ideas? 

What if, instead, we brought curiosity and the art of fascination to the table, invoking the power of questions, truly seeking to understand and meet the needs of others? 

These ideas are at the heart of the Art of Feminine Negotiation™. I believe it’s an idea worth sharing. A simple idea that can change the world. 

Are you looking to up level your negotiation skills?

Please enjoy my TEDx Ocala talk
- Rise of the Feminine Voice as the Key to Our Future-