Negotiating Past Family Drama at Easter

easter eggs 4941451 1280 jpgWhether Easter is a sacred religious holiday for you or simply a chance to celebrate the Easter Bunny’s bountiful chocolate offerings, we all have to deal with the drama of family at holidays one way or another. The good news is that negotiating Easter holidays (like any negotiation) will be better with a little forethought and preparation.
Here’s a few tips to make your Easter extra special this year by setting yourself up for success…

I Recognize that You’re in a Negotiation

The first step is to recognize that you will be participating in a series of negotiations over the holidays. See it and own your part in it. If you don’t get intentional about these negotiations, you’ll be consistently in unconscious reactive mode.
After all, all of life is a negotiation, whether it’s with yourself, your kids, your intimate partner, or crabby Uncle Joe. We often fail to see our personal relationships as requiring negotiations. That failure will bite your bunny in the butt.

II Negotiate Your Mindset

Your first and most important negotiation will be with yourself. Negotiate your mindset. Start by choosing how you want to show up … then BE that person. Show up with an abundance mindset. Make a personal commitment to pause before you react and to use that pause to choose your reactions.
Your reality is determined by your thoughts and the meaning you give them. Take control over the meaning you attach and choose more positive thoughts.

III Set an Intention

Set an intention about what you want out of the holidays. When you don’t approach the holidays with intention, it’s easy to get caught up in the spectacle of family dysfunction.

IV Allow Yourself to Feel the Full Range of Emotions

As humans, we’re complicated creatures with a wide and varied range of emotional notes. It’s normal to experience the full range of these emotions.
Holidays especially can bring up old baggage with feelings of anger, angst, fear, guilt, and worry … along with gratitude, joy, love, etc. Allow yourself to feel the feelings, and then choose the most empowering perspective that best serves you.

V Choose the Gift of Gratitude

More important than goody baskets is the gift of gratitude. The good news is that you don’t have to depend on the Easter Bunny to bring it; you can adopt a gratitude practice anytime and anywhere.
Even if you find yourself in the middle of an emerging family drama moment, you can pause and find something you can be grateful for in that moment. There will always be things you can be grateful for in life.

VI Negotiate Your Environment

Contrary to our conditioning around family and holidays, you can choose where you go and who you spend your time with. Make decisions that serve you rather than choices based on others’ expectations and pressures.
Manage your travel. Choose to spend the holidays in locations that are manageable and won’t leave you at your worst.
Manage your food choices. This matters both in terms of intake (I’m not saying you have to deprive yourself, but maybe eating an entire chocolate chicken is not the way to go) and also output. If creating a turkey dinner extravaganza with all the fixings stresses you out then choose simple and allow yourself to be fully present instead.
Keep support systems close. Make sure to surround yourself with people you love and who love you to the extent possible. Set up healthy boundaries around those who don’t fill you with the peace the holiday deserves.

VII Choose What You Tolerate

We get what we tolerate in life. Luckily, you get to choose what you tolerate. What you tolerate of and for yourself is what you’ll get, so it’s important to make a decision that you won’t tolerate mediocrity and resignation from yourself. By the same token, start the internal dialogue about what you’ll tolerate of other people. If you want different results, you need to take different action. You set the tone for how you will be treated. Take ownership of that.

If you follow these simple tips, you’ll be well on the road to enjoying an enlightened Easter. Not only will you be able to easily negotiate past family drama, you’ll be able to enjoy the Bunny’s boon while also appreciating the experience


Art of feminine negotiation, Easter, family drama

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