3 Hot Tips to Negotiate Your Best Relationship this Valentine’s


Valentine’s Day is upon us again. For most, Valentine’s Day has us thinking about chocolate hearts and flowers. While these are certainly standard gifts for the occasion, instead, I invite you to consider the gift of negotiating your best relationship.

It’s ironic that we spend time preparing and planning for our business negotiations yet fail to do so for our most important relationships. Part of the problem is our perceptions of ‘negotiation’. We typically imagine board rooms and power suits when we think of negotiation. The reality is that all of life is a negotiation … and our intimate relationships are no exception.

This Valentine’s I invite you sit down with your partner and get intentional about the following 3 simple things. It will definitely be worth more than a box of chocolates!

I  Choose Who You Want to Be With Each Other

Having an open discussion with your partner about who you want to be with each other is a valuable bonding experience in the moment and has added long-term benefits.

In consultation with your significant other, come up with 3 words to describe who you want to be with them. The beauty is that there is no right or wrong answers. It’s unique to each individual and relationship. Maybe for you, ‘generous, understanding and supportive’ is key while for someone else it may be ‘energized, adventurous and open’. The words that are important for you to work on will likely be different than those for your partner. You get the idea. Be creative and be mindful of what works best for both you and your partner.

The lasting effects of this exercise come when you both give permission to each other to call out when the other person is not showing up in the spirit of their chosen 3 words. Agree that doing so will have no adverse consequences. In other words, you each get a ‘hall pass’ to call out behaviour inconsistent with the negotiated 3-word model for your relationship.

II Create a Relationship Bucket List Together

Another great bonding experience that helps you live into your best lives together, is taking time together (perhaps over a romantic meal or bottle of wine – or drink of your choice) to come up with a mutually desirable bucket list.

Think of the things you’d like to do together, places you’d like to go, experiences you’d like to share. Be sure to include some simple, but often overlooked items. But also, don’t be shy to come up with some audacious bucket list items. Think big. Be bold. Stretch yourselves to come up with some items that seem out of reach that would thrill you both.

Once you have your list, start prioritizing and nail down options to make them happen. Set dates for each item on your list. Enjoy the ongoing experience of making each happen together.

III Explore Your 5-Year Plan

In addition to your bucket-list items, I invite you to explore your 5-year plan together. Consider where you want to be in 5 years, both individually and as a couple. Consider all the various facets of your life to ensure you live your life fully.


  • Health & Fitness
  • Finance & Wealth
  • Mission & Vision
  • Growth and Learning
  • Carreer
  • Family and Friends
  • Mission and Vision
  • Emotional and Mental
  • Quality of Life
  • Spiritual
  • Intimate/Romantic Relationships

Be open and honest with each other. Challenge each other to think bigger and bolder. In that way, you’ll ensure you grow together in a shared vision for the future that will enable you to live into the fullest version of your life.

The beauty of negotiating these things together as a gift to each other is that it creates intimacy in the moment and sets the stage for long-term benefits of living into a shared vision which you’ve created together. The process requires collaboration, compromise and creativity. It requires genuine listening to each other. It builds trust and deepens rapport … all of which will strengthen your relationship in the moment and moving forward.

Happy Valentines!


negotiate, Romance, Valentine's

You may also like

Page [tcb_pagination_current_page] of [tcb_pagination_total_pages]

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

Subscribe to our newsletter now!